Many different family constellations exist, where children are raised in blended, divorced, single or two parent households and relationships. There has been a lack of research pertaining to gay fatherhood and lesbian motherhood maybe because of the notion that fathers and mothers have been seen as a conventional part of heterosexual couples. However, gay fathers and lesbian mothers may have more similarities in their desires of having children rather than differences.
You ARE a meaningful parent and your child deserve loving parents.
LGBT Family Building
The road to parenthood
Having an open dialogue between you, your love, spouse or partner is essential to having a healthy and respectful gay and lesbian relationship. However, there may be times where the existential human needs, opportunities and situations affect the compassion, love or makes you overwhelmed, hurt and afraid.
Having a child and building a family may be a dream come true, a miracle or something you wanted your whole life. Going forward may depend on sleepless nights, money time and scheduling. It may also be a time of stress, a pregnant partner, mourning, assisted conception, fertility doctors, IUI, IVF, surrogacy agencies, complicated expectations and pending adoption for gay dads and lesbian moms, that your friends and family may not understand about same sex couples or LGBT parents.
Collaboration and support
Maybe you are unable to discuss your concerns or moving forward in a period of adjustments and changes. Having a network of professionals may ease the pain or provide support along the road to parenthood so you can be at ease, learn tools to avoid conflicts and prepare yourself for parenthood.
I understand the importance, patience and compromise affecting your daily life when going through the process of planning for the future and having a child. That is why I, as an LGBT therapist, have established a safe and valuable relationship not only with my clients in gay and lesbian counseling, but also with the facilities that provide family building services as well as family law attorneys. Consider LGBT support during a time of planning for a baby. Read my blog post at Fertility Source Companies (Oct. 9th 2013) CLICK HERE
Gay & Lesbian Parenting and Non Gestational Parents
The experience, emotional journey and struggles for non-biological lesbian mothers or gay fathers in regards to a partner's fertility treatments, pregnancy, same sex parenting, dissolution of marriage, divorce, co-parenting and issues surrounding the tidal waves that come crashing during times of legal struggles and custody battles, is what I realized lacked deeper understanding among therapists.
There is a gap in the literature and lack of support for non-bio moms! Upon finishing my Bachelor's degree I wrote the final paper on "The Effect of Gay and Lesbian Parenting on Children" whereas my thesis in my Master's counseling program was about "The experience of the non-biological lesbian mother".
We really want the best possible scenario for our children so they do not suffer, get hurt of miss out on having two great parents in their lives no matter what circumstances. I get it, I am here to help, you are not alone!